50 Things Nico diAngelo
by Percy's Wise-Girl
Summary: Nico's girlfriend Amethyst and her friend Melina decides to make a list of things Nico is not allowed to do, after all of them do happen. funny? no? okay. any suggestions for some? let me know.


What Melina Wrote

**What Amethyst wrote**

50 things Nico diAngelo is MUST remember and NOT do:

**1. Nico is not allowed to drink Tantrum...ever! **

2. Nico is not allowed to tell the Aphrodite girls that Justin Bieber is a fag and a rapist.

3. In the beginning of summer when all the new Demigods are coming to camp Nico is not allowed to tell them that if they are horrible at sword fighting or using a bow and

arrow and if they die in battle they will be served in the barbeque.

**4. Nico is not allowed to tell the new campers that the campers that died last year is cooked in the barbeque.**

**5. During dinner Nico is not allowed to scream to Amethyst, "YOU AND ME BABY AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT MAMMALS, SO LET'S DO IT LIKE THEY DO ON THE **

** DISCOVERY CHANNEL!" while making the universal sex sign.**

6. Or anywhere in front of campers for that matter, because Mr. D will KILL him.

**7. The only proper response to Melina's question of "Does this make me look fat?" is "NO!"**

8. Nico is not allowed to dance around in his glow-in-the-dark boxers in front of the campers.

**9. But he can come in my room at anytime!**

**10. Nico is not allowed to tell everyone that Percy and Annabeth is into kinky sex.**

11. Abandoned refrigerators are not portals to other worlds!

**12. Nico must stop writing, "For a good time, call Percy Jackson" inside the boys' shower walls.**

13. Nico, also, must stop writing, "For a good time, call Zander Arow" inside the boys' shower walls.

**14. Nico MUST remember he is NOT Willow Smith, and MUST stop trying to "whip" his hair.**

**15. Nico is not allowed to pantz Percy in front of campers.**

16. Or Zander (it creeps him out)

**17. Nico don't EVER say in a gay voice that you are "Ghetto Fab-U-LO-us!"**

18. Don't ask little girls in a creepy voice if they like puppies.

19. Nico is not allowed to tell Zander that Melina wants Zander to dance naked in front of Mr. D because it turns her on. (it's TOTALLY a lie!)

20. Nico is not allowed to tell Apollo that Zander and Melina are planning to steal the sun.

**21. Nico must remember Poseidon is not a mean guy so you don't have to pee on yourself every time you hear his voice. (really, baby, please just stop this)**

22. Aphrodite does NOT have the "Hots" for him. (really Nico! Just stop she doesn't like you!)

**23. Thalia did NOT join the hunt and swear off boys because she's a lesbian.**

**24. And quit telling people that's why she joined.**

25. Especially her father Zeus!

**26. Nico stop telling everyone you think Percy "brings the fiyahh" (seriously everyone is starting to think your gay)**

**27. Stop calling Percy "The Fish Boy" and telling first time campers that he grows gills and will sneak into their cabins at night and swim in their bathtub.**

**28. Nico you NEED to stop telling the first time boy campers that if they give Amethyst or Annabeth $10 that they'll show them their boobs.**

29. Stop telling first time boy campers that Melina will have sex with them for chocolate.

**30. When everyone goes in for breakfast stop jumping on the table and singing "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC while pointing to Amethyst and **

** making the universal sex sign.**

31. Nico "Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'" is a Journey song. NOT the meaning to life no matter what Amethyst might say. And you are not allowed to touch or squeeze each

other at anytime or each others body parts during the campfire singalongs!

**32. Never EVER EVVVVVVERRRR! Tell Melina that Brad and Angelina broke up or Seventeen got canceled!**

**33. Nico just because your horoscope says that your color of the week is pink doesn't mean you HAVE to wear PINK!**

34. Never sing "Dude Looks Like A Lady" by Aerosmith when Zander hasn't had a haircut in a while.

**35. Nico stop trying to get Artemis to be a stripper. She's the VIRGIN GODDESS!**

36. Nico don't make "Tonight (I'm Fucking You)" by Enrique Iglesias, a campfire song and dedicate it to Amethyst.(even if you actually are)

**37. Nico just because Artemis has sworn off boys does not mean she's a lesbian. So it is not okay to send her lesbian porno.**

**38. Just because Grover is a satyr and is hairy; it is NOT okay to drug him and shave all his hair off to see where his penis is.**

39. Nico don't ever sing "Face Down, Ass Up, That's The Way We like

To Fuck", everything Amethyst bends down to catch something.

Even when you sing it in your Scream-O version it's just not

right. Don't ever do it...please!

**40. Never eat a lollipop sexually!**


End file.
